Conclusion to Another Great Semester!

Well, the semester is over and it was wonderful.

My grades were the best this semester than they have ever been.
My classes were all great and i learned so much.
I am so happy with my choice to change back to Child Development as my major.

Working for Brother Wray again was so fun and worth every bit of time.
Broulim's was great and I still feel so blessed to work there.  They are so flexible with my school schedule and they treat the employees really well.
I love my jobs!

My roommates were fantastic.
My roommate Jamie got engaged and I am so happy for her but I will miss living with her.  We have lived together for so long.

I met so many great people and made a few more amazing friends.  I love this place.

I am in the process of packing and cleaning and then I am driving home to Driggs tomorrow around noon.
I start work at Broulim's there about an hour after I get home.  Yay for not wasting any time to make money!

There were some tough times in the semester but over all it was great.

Life is good.
Shanna

10 things that I would like to remember from my Family Relations class

Evil is Always Stupid

“You have to teach people that evil is always stupid.” –Quote from class

There is not a good reason for it to happen any more than there is a good reason that the Nazis killed so many people.  EVIL IS ALWAYS STUPID.  Evil should not have a place in families.  I think that I have made my point for this one. 

Family Relationships in Times of Crisis

            In times of crisis the family can either get closer to one another or can pull away from one another and can become disconnected and full of tension.  Families need to lean on one another during times of crisis.  The relationships in the family may change but hopefully they will get rearranged to be just as good or better.

Four Qualities of Parenting

            Parents should have the qualities of cooperation, respect, responsibility, and courage.  Parents need to cooperate with their children by listening to them and taking their wants into consideration as well as doing what is needed.  Parents need to teach their children respect by showing them respect.  The best way to teach respect is to demonstrate it.  Parents need to give children certain amounts of responsibility and make them stick to the choices they make.  Parents need to have courage.  Courage means “to take heart.” Parents really need to have courage to raise their children.

Planned, Paid For, and Paired Off- Dating

            Dates should be planned before hand, the man should pay, and couples should be paired off.  I really liked this because I do admit that sometimes I cannot tell if I am on a date or not.  It is good to have some guidelines that go along with dates.  Also, I feel that these guidelines can help people to actually go on dates and not just hang out.  Motivation!

Cohabitation is a “No no”

            Not only is cohabitation against the commandments but it also does not help relationships.  Couples that cohabitate before marriage are more likely to get divorced or have abuse in the relationship.  Waiting to live together until after marriage increases the couple’s chance of having a successful marriage. Cohabitating before marriage is hurtful to the stability of the relationship.

Multiply and Replenish the Earth

            God’s commandment for us to multiply and replenish the Earth is still in effect.  It is selfish for us to wait to have children or decide not to have children because of our own personal, silly reasons.  We need to bring more of God’s children to this planet to live in good homes where they will be raised right.  We should not put off having children until we are older.

Father Involvement is Important

            Fathers are important for more than just bringing in a paycheck.  Fathers help their children know about gender roles and how to act in society.  Fathers also help raise children by supporting the mother.  There are statistics backing up the fact that children are less likely to be in poverty if there is a father in the home.  I believe that father involvement is so important for the security and well being of the family.

Communication is Key!

A relationship without communication is likely to fail.  Sometimes when there are misunderstandings, all that needs to happen is for both people to tell there side of it and the issue will get straitened out easily and painlessly.  Different People have different perspectives and so they do not see things the same.  This can cause issues and conflict that never needed to happen.  Talking it out is always the best solution.

The Lord Loves Us

“He loves you more than you love you” –Quote from class

            God loves us so much and has done so much for us.  We are His children and He will never stop loving us.  He wants us to be happy so he has given us so many great opportunities.  God also loves the people on Earth that you love.  A good way to get past issues that you may have with someone is to realize that God loves them too because they are his son or daughter.

Ways to Avoid Divorce

            Most of the time divorce can be avoided if the couple will follow some simple advice. 1) Carefully select the person you want to marry and actually get to know them. 2) Have great unselfishness and learn to work as a team. TOGETHER.  3) Continuous dating should take place before and after the wedding.  4) Follow the commandments to love and stay true to our spouse for eternity.  Marriages can last if people follow these pointers.

I have loved this class :)

Shanna

EVIL is STUPID

There are many valuable things that we must teach to our children.  It is our responsibility.
One of the most important things that we must teach them is that evil is always stupid.

“You have to teach people that evil is always stupid.” - Quote from class

There is not a good reason for evil to happen any more than there is a good reason that the Nazis killed so many people.  EVIL IS ALWAYS STUPID.

If we start by teaching our children to avoid evil the next generation will have a better chance.

Teach them good!
Shanna

The Lord Loves Us

The Lord Loves Us

“He loves you more than you love you” –Quote from class

            God loves us so much and has done so much for us.  We are His children and He will never stop loving us.  He wants us to be happy so he has given us so many great opportunities.  God also loves the people on Earth that you love.  A good way to get past issues that you may have with someone is to realize that God loves them too because they are his son or daughter.

YOU ARE LOVED! (Josh Groban reference)

<3 Shanna <3

4 Qualities of Parenting

Four Qualities of Parenting- Important!

            Parents should have the qualities of cooperation, respect, responsibility, and courage.  Parents need to cooperate with their children by listening to them and taking their wants into consideration as well as doing what is needed.  Parents need to teach their children respect by showing them respect.  The best way to teach respect is to demonstrate it.  Parents need to give children certain amounts of responsibility and make them stick to the choices they make.  Parents need to have courage.  Courage means “to take heart.” Parents really need to have courage to raise their children.

Family Crisis

Crisis affects the whole family.  This is true whether the crisis is large or small.

When there is crisis in the family it can cause the family to push away from one another and can make the closeness and functionality of the family go down.  On the other hand, if the family holds on to one another to get through the crisis the closeness and functionality can go up. 

This small diagram shows the crisis and the two paths that families can take around it.  They can go up or down.  The two different ways have two very different results.  

           \    goes up

Crisis    >------

           /    goes down

Members of a family do not have to be rocks or islands! (Simon & Garfunkel reference!)

They can lean on each other when they are not strong and they can help each other to carry on.   Just call on your brother when you need a hand.  We all need somebody to lean on! (Bill Withers reference!)

Mary from Pride and Prejudice says it best when she says, "This is a most unfortunate affair; and will probably be much talked of.  But we must stem the tide of malice, and pour into each others wounded bosoms, the balm of sisterly consolation."... Ok, perhaps she didn't say it best, but you get the point.  Come together... right now! (The Beatles)

Hang in there!

Shanna

Dating tips- PPP

PLANNED
PAID FOR
PAIRED OFF

One the the big questions that a lot of girls here at Brigham Young University Idaho have is, "How can I tell if this is a date or if he just wants to "hang out."  Well girls, besides flat out asking the guy there are three things that you need to observe to figure out this mystery- Is there a plan for the time spent together? Is he paying for and and all expenses of the time spent together? Are the two of you paired off from the rest of the group (if there is a group)?  In a group or not, you need to be his main focus and he needs to be yours.  If these three things are a YES then it is a date.  Have fun on your date!  If not then I would not consider it to be a date.  If he meant it to be a date then he needs to work on his 3 Ps!

Guys, if you want to take a girl on a date and you want her to know that it is a date and not just a "hang out"then you could just tell her that it is a date or say, "Hey do you want to go on a date with me?"  Sounds easy right?  Well for some it is harder to say the "date" word so here is an easy solution.  The 3 Ps!  Plan the date, pay for the date, and make sure that the two of you are paired off if it is a group date.  By these three things the girl should be able to tell that you are, indeed, on a date.

Good luck!
Shanna

Marriage first!!

Many think that cohabitation is the answer to making a marriage work.  They believe that everyone should cohabitate before they get married.  Well, I am here to say that the statistics show otherwise.  Cohabitating before marriage is hurtful to the stability of the relationship.

The affects that cohabitation has on marriage:

Cohabitating before marriage increases the likelihood of some things to occur in marriage and decreases the likelihood for other things to occur.  As you look at the list below pay attention to the types of things that go UP and the types of things that go DOWN.

Measures of marital success

Divorce (up)

Physical intimacy (down)

Violence (up)

Parents split (up)

Kids depressed, etc (up)

Health (down)

Infidelity (up)

Security (down)

Like me, you probably realized that all of the things that go UP are negative and all of the things that go DOWN are positive.  After cohabitation, the reality is that, marriages are more likely to experience the negative issues or even fail completely than to have the comforts such as health and physical intimacy.

Why then do so many people cohabitate?  

I think that fear of actually commitment may have a large part in the decision to cohabitate.  People want to keep their options open and have an "easy out."  I am not condemning people that choose this way of life but rather I am saying that if they only knew what affect it would have on their relationship(s) later I would hope that they would consider marriage before living with one another.

The first image below (pretend that the lines are not dashed) is two lives coming together as one (The hope for most marriages).  

The second is two lives that cohabitate and live "parallel lives"- Together but separate.  

To me, the first seems pleasant and enjoyable.  The second seems like a lonely way to live- Always together but always alone.

Get married and 
hopefully come together         \ /           

                                                      |         |    |    Cohabitate and live parallel lives

                                                      |         |    |

                                                      |         |    |

                                                      |         |    |

                                                                |    |

Marriage first!  for the win!

Shanna

Looooooooove types

There are four types of love that we learned about in my family relations class.  Each type of love is unique to different types of relationships.  Some types of relationships can include more than one type of love.

Types of love: Strorge, Philia, Eros, and Agape

Storge Parent to Child Commitment+ emotion Responsibility

Philia Friends Brotherly

Eros Physical Lustful Sexual Romantic

Agape Charity Compassionate Companionate

Before learning this I had realized that there are different types of love because I have friends that i LOVE (philia) but do not LOVE (eros)...  That is just an example...  I also love different members in my family with storge love, philia love, and agape love.  I would definitely say that in my own personal life, philia is the most prominent type of love.  I would encourage you all so evaluate the types of love that you have for the people in your own lives.  Is it the right type of love?


I love love!!
Shanna