Conclusion to Another Great Semester!

Well, the semester is over and it was wonderful.

My grades were the best this semester than they have ever been.
My classes were all great and i learned so much.
I am so happy with my choice to change back to Child Development as my major.

Working for Brother Wray again was so fun and worth every bit of time.
Broulim's was great and I still feel so blessed to work there.  They are so flexible with my school schedule and they treat the employees really well.
I love my jobs!

My roommates were fantastic.
My roommate Jamie got engaged and I am so happy for her but I will miss living with her.  We have lived together for so long.

I met so many great people and made a few more amazing friends.  I love this place.

I am in the process of packing and cleaning and then I am driving home to Driggs tomorrow around noon.
I start work at Broulim's there about an hour after I get home.  Yay for not wasting any time to make money!

There were some tough times in the semester but over all it was great.

Life is good.
Shanna

10 things that I would like to remember from my Family Relations class

Evil is Always Stupid

“You have to teach people that evil is always stupid.” –Quote from class

There is not a good reason for it to happen any more than there is a good reason that the Nazis killed so many people.  EVIL IS ALWAYS STUPID.  Evil should not have a place in families.  I think that I have made my point for this one. 

Family Relationships in Times of Crisis

            In times of crisis the family can either get closer to one another or can pull away from one another and can become disconnected and full of tension.  Families need to lean on one another during times of crisis.  The relationships in the family may change but hopefully they will get rearranged to be just as good or better.

Four Qualities of Parenting

            Parents should have the qualities of cooperation, respect, responsibility, and courage.  Parents need to cooperate with their children by listening to them and taking their wants into consideration as well as doing what is needed.  Parents need to teach their children respect by showing them respect.  The best way to teach respect is to demonstrate it.  Parents need to give children certain amounts of responsibility and make them stick to the choices they make.  Parents need to have courage.  Courage means “to take heart.” Parents really need to have courage to raise their children.

Planned, Paid For, and Paired Off- Dating

            Dates should be planned before hand, the man should pay, and couples should be paired off.  I really liked this because I do admit that sometimes I cannot tell if I am on a date or not.  It is good to have some guidelines that go along with dates.  Also, I feel that these guidelines can help people to actually go on dates and not just hang out.  Motivation!

Cohabitation is a “No no”

            Not only is cohabitation against the commandments but it also does not help relationships.  Couples that cohabitate before marriage are more likely to get divorced or have abuse in the relationship.  Waiting to live together until after marriage increases the couple’s chance of having a successful marriage. Cohabitating before marriage is hurtful to the stability of the relationship.

Multiply and Replenish the Earth

            God’s commandment for us to multiply and replenish the Earth is still in effect.  It is selfish for us to wait to have children or decide not to have children because of our own personal, silly reasons.  We need to bring more of God’s children to this planet to live in good homes where they will be raised right.  We should not put off having children until we are older.

Father Involvement is Important

            Fathers are important for more than just bringing in a paycheck.  Fathers help their children know about gender roles and how to act in society.  Fathers also help raise children by supporting the mother.  There are statistics backing up the fact that children are less likely to be in poverty if there is a father in the home.  I believe that father involvement is so important for the security and well being of the family.

Communication is Key!

A relationship without communication is likely to fail.  Sometimes when there are misunderstandings, all that needs to happen is for both people to tell there side of it and the issue will get straitened out easily and painlessly.  Different People have different perspectives and so they do not see things the same.  This can cause issues and conflict that never needed to happen.  Talking it out is always the best solution.

The Lord Loves Us

“He loves you more than you love you” –Quote from class

            God loves us so much and has done so much for us.  We are His children and He will never stop loving us.  He wants us to be happy so he has given us so many great opportunities.  God also loves the people on Earth that you love.  A good way to get past issues that you may have with someone is to realize that God loves them too because they are his son or daughter.

Ways to Avoid Divorce

            Most of the time divorce can be avoided if the couple will follow some simple advice. 1) Carefully select the person you want to marry and actually get to know them. 2) Have great unselfishness and learn to work as a team. TOGETHER.  3) Continuous dating should take place before and after the wedding.  4) Follow the commandments to love and stay true to our spouse for eternity.  Marriages can last if people follow these pointers.

I have loved this class :)

Shanna

EVIL is STUPID

There are many valuable things that we must teach to our children.  It is our responsibility.
One of the most important things that we must teach them is that evil is always stupid.

“You have to teach people that evil is always stupid.” - Quote from class

There is not a good reason for evil to happen any more than there is a good reason that the Nazis killed so many people.  EVIL IS ALWAYS STUPID.

If we start by teaching our children to avoid evil the next generation will have a better chance.

Teach them good!
Shanna

The Lord Loves Us

The Lord Loves Us

“He loves you more than you love you” –Quote from class

            God loves us so much and has done so much for us.  We are His children and He will never stop loving us.  He wants us to be happy so he has given us so many great opportunities.  God also loves the people on Earth that you love.  A good way to get past issues that you may have with someone is to realize that God loves them too because they are his son or daughter.

YOU ARE LOVED! (Josh Groban reference)

<3 Shanna <3

4 Qualities of Parenting

Four Qualities of Parenting- Important!

            Parents should have the qualities of cooperation, respect, responsibility, and courage.  Parents need to cooperate with their children by listening to them and taking their wants into consideration as well as doing what is needed.  Parents need to teach their children respect by showing them respect.  The best way to teach respect is to demonstrate it.  Parents need to give children certain amounts of responsibility and make them stick to the choices they make.  Parents need to have courage.  Courage means “to take heart.” Parents really need to have courage to raise their children.

Family Crisis

Crisis affects the whole family.  This is true whether the crisis is large or small.

When there is crisis in the family it can cause the family to push away from one another and can make the closeness and functionality of the family go down.  On the other hand, if the family holds on to one another to get through the crisis the closeness and functionality can go up. 

This small diagram shows the crisis and the two paths that families can take around it.  They can go up or down.  The two different ways have two very different results.  

           \    goes up

Crisis    >------

           /    goes down

Members of a family do not have to be rocks or islands! (Simon & Garfunkel reference!)

They can lean on each other when they are not strong and they can help each other to carry on.   Just call on your brother when you need a hand.  We all need somebody to lean on! (Bill Withers reference!)

Mary from Pride and Prejudice says it best when she says, "This is a most unfortunate affair; and will probably be much talked of.  But we must stem the tide of malice, and pour into each others wounded bosoms, the balm of sisterly consolation."... Ok, perhaps she didn't say it best, but you get the point.  Come together... right now! (The Beatles)

Hang in there!

Shanna

Dating tips- PPP

PLANNED
PAID FOR
PAIRED OFF

One the the big questions that a lot of girls here at Brigham Young University Idaho have is, "How can I tell if this is a date or if he just wants to "hang out."  Well girls, besides flat out asking the guy there are three things that you need to observe to figure out this mystery- Is there a plan for the time spent together? Is he paying for and and all expenses of the time spent together? Are the two of you paired off from the rest of the group (if there is a group)?  In a group or not, you need to be his main focus and he needs to be yours.  If these three things are a YES then it is a date.  Have fun on your date!  If not then I would not consider it to be a date.  If he meant it to be a date then he needs to work on his 3 Ps!

Guys, if you want to take a girl on a date and you want her to know that it is a date and not just a "hang out"then you could just tell her that it is a date or say, "Hey do you want to go on a date with me?"  Sounds easy right?  Well for some it is harder to say the "date" word so here is an easy solution.  The 3 Ps!  Plan the date, pay for the date, and make sure that the two of you are paired off if it is a group date.  By these three things the girl should be able to tell that you are, indeed, on a date.

Good luck!
Shanna

Marriage first!!

Many think that cohabitation is the answer to making a marriage work.  They believe that everyone should cohabitate before they get married.  Well, I am here to say that the statistics show otherwise.  Cohabitating before marriage is hurtful to the stability of the relationship.

The affects that cohabitation has on marriage:

Cohabitating before marriage increases the likelihood of some things to occur in marriage and decreases the likelihood for other things to occur.  As you look at the list below pay attention to the types of things that go UP and the types of things that go DOWN.

Measures of marital success

Divorce (up)

Physical intimacy (down)

Violence (up)

Parents split (up)

Kids depressed, etc (up)

Health (down)

Infidelity (up)

Security (down)

Like me, you probably realized that all of the things that go UP are negative and all of the things that go DOWN are positive.  After cohabitation, the reality is that, marriages are more likely to experience the negative issues or even fail completely than to have the comforts such as health and physical intimacy.

Why then do so many people cohabitate?  

I think that fear of actually commitment may have a large part in the decision to cohabitate.  People want to keep their options open and have an "easy out."  I am not condemning people that choose this way of life but rather I am saying that if they only knew what affect it would have on their relationship(s) later I would hope that they would consider marriage before living with one another.

The first image below (pretend that the lines are not dashed) is two lives coming together as one (The hope for most marriages).  

The second is two lives that cohabitate and live "parallel lives"- Together but separate.  

To me, the first seems pleasant and enjoyable.  The second seems like a lonely way to live- Always together but always alone.

Get married and 
hopefully come together         \ /           

                                                      |         |    |    Cohabitate and live parallel lives

                                                      |         |    |

                                                      |         |    |

                                                      |         |    |

                                                                |    |

Marriage first!  for the win!

Shanna

Looooooooove types

There are four types of love that we learned about in my family relations class.  Each type of love is unique to different types of relationships.  Some types of relationships can include more than one type of love.

Types of love: Strorge, Philia, Eros, and Agape

Storge Parent to Child Commitment+ emotion Responsibility

Philia Friends Brotherly

Eros Physical Lustful Sexual Romantic

Agape Charity Compassionate Companionate

Before learning this I had realized that there are different types of love because I have friends that i LOVE (philia) but do not LOVE (eros)...  That is just an example...  I also love different members in my family with storge love, philia love, and agape love.  I would definitely say that in my own personal life, philia is the most prominent type of love.  I would encourage you all so evaluate the types of love that you have for the people in your own lives.  Is it the right type of love?


I love love!!
Shanna

Taking the plunge

Dating -> Marriage

Correct steps:

Dating

Courtship

Engagement (ring and a date)

• Make decisions (together)
• Practice sacrifice for/with each other
• Establish boundaries- around new relationship system
• Problem solving
• Rely on each other

Marriage

     - Honeymoon (after Marriage, not before)

In society these days so many people treat marriage like it is no big thing.  IT IS A BIG THING, PEOPLE!!  The steps to get there need to be followed in the correct order to give the couple the best chance that they have at a happy life together.  Marriage is hard, but worth it (so I have been told).  Take your time when trying to find "the one."  No need to rush things.  

<3 Shanna

Gender is Essential!

In my Family Relations class we made lists comparing characteristics of the two sexes.  These lists are, of course, incomplete and there are exceptions to every characteristic listed, but I think that it is a good snap shot in words of what most people think of men and women.

Female Cooperative Gentle/comfort Domestic Submissive Detail oriented Relationship oriented More verbal (talk a lot) Aware Able to multitask

Male Competitive Strong Protective- Aggression Focused Career driven Leadership Oblivious Active and sporty

Female vs. Male (stereotypes and thoughts)

Girly vs. Manly

Cares vs. Doesn’t care

Cooperative vs. Competitive

Gentle vs. Aggressive

Submissive vs. “The boss”

Detail oriented and aware vs. Oblivious

More verbal vs. Doesn’t communicate

Will ask for directions vs. Will ask for directions over their dead body

...Etc etc etc...

Our gender experiences affect our family experiences and visa versa.  If even one individual in the family were of a different gender then the family dynamics would change drastically. 

This quote was on the board in our classroom:

“We desperately need to raise our sons much more like our daughters” ~G.S.

I highly disagree with this statement.  I believe that boys should be raised as boys and girls should be raised as girls.  It’s that simple. 

According to The Family: A Proclamation to the World, “ALL HUMAN BEINGS—male and female—are created in the image of God. Each is a beloved spirit son or daughter of heavenly parents, and, as such, each has a divine nature and destiny. Gender is an essential characteristic of individual premortal, mortal, and eternal identity and purpose.”  Our genders were set before this life.  It was not by chance that we were born with the bodies that we were.  We do not come to this Earth to decide what gender we would like to be.  Our genders are essential to who we are and our entire being!

Be a MAN, man! ...unless you are a woman... then be a woman.

Shanna

Multiply and Replenish!- God's Commandment

Where have all the good parents gone?  It seems that these days the people that would make decent parents are deciding to have fewer children or no children at all for mostly selfish reasons.  I am sorry if that statement seems harsh, but as I see it the world needs more responsible parents that will rise to the challenge of raising children that can grow up to make a better future.  If responsible people don’t have children and so it is only irresponsible people continuing to have children (often unplanned) then the next generation won’t be any better.  Responsible people need to have children!  Each child that is born to good parents is a child that is not born to bad ones.   Every child deserves to be born into a good home with people that will care for them, love them, and raise them right.  Who knew that our choices about fertility here on Earth affect those beyond the veil that have not yet received a physical body?  We need to do right by them and not let our selfish desires get in the way of bringing children into this life.  The more children raised with the good influences of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints the better!  Ever child deserves the best chance they have at this life and the life after.

Shanna

My Daddy Dearest

I’m so glad when Daddy comes home,

Glad as I can be;

Clap my hands and shout for joy,

Then climb upon his knee,

Put my arms around his neck,

Hug him tight like this,

Pat his cheeks, then give him what?

A great big kiss.

~Children’s songs/ Daddy’s Homecoming

Is having a father in the home necessary?

         These days it would seem that society doesn’t view fathers as necessary for raising emotionally stable and well-developed children.  I do not doubt that single mothers can raise well-adjusted children, but rather I believe that adding a father into the home can have many positive affects on a child’s entire life.  I suppose that the reason I personally believe this is because I, myself, have an excellent father that has done more for me than I can even wrap my mind around.  I look to my dad for advice and support for almost every aspect of my life and he helps without hesitation.  He has taught me the meaning of hard work and being kind to others.  I have never met another man that is my father’s equal in these two categories.  You may think that I am speaking with bias but go ahead and ask anyone that has ever met my dad!  He doesn’t flaunt his hard working, kind nature but he has a reputation for it, nonetheless.  People respect his character and can easily see what type of man he is just from associating with him for short periods of time.  I have always looked up to my dad and he has always made sure that I know that he loves and supports me.  I don’t know what I would do without him. My mother is so great but without the support of my father I don’t know if she would have been able to handle raising us children on her own (especially through the teen years!).  Having a priesthood holder in our home has been priceless.  His priesthood has blessed my life in innumerable ways.  My father is, without a doubt, an important and necessary part of my families home.  I love my daddy!

On a spiritual note: Is our Heavenly Father a necessary part of our lives?  He should be.  God is our father and he loves us more than we can comprehend.  He is always there for us and wants nothing more than for us to return to him some day.  He has given us everything and we are nothing without him.  Yes, Heavenly Father is a necessary part of our lives, whether we acknowledge that fact or not.  I hope you know how much your Heavenly Father loves you!

‘Til next time, friends!

Shanna

Another Semester in Paradise- Fall 2012

         My short 6 week summer break officially ended a week ago and I am loving my new classes here at BYU-I!  I am starting to get into the better classes for my major (Child Development and Preschool Education) and I am loving it.  I have a feeling that this semester is going to be one of the best yet! With great roommates, great classes, great friends, and great jobs this semester may even beat out last semester as #1!  The possibilities are endless and I can't wait to see what is in store.

Classes:

• Infant and Toddler Development
• I love babies!  This class will be a lot of work but it should be good.
• Pearl of Great Price
• Taught by Brother Riggins! He has been one of my favorite teachers at this university so far.  He really succeeds when teaching by the spirit.  I feel so blessed to be able to learn from him once again.  He has taught me so much in the last 5 months that I have known him and I can't thank him enough for the difference that he has made in my life.  
• Family Relations
• The real reason that I created this blog!  I can already tell that I am going to learn so much from this class that will help me later in life.  If nothing else, then at least I learned how to blog!
• Foundations of Early Childhood
• This class is 2 times a week for an hour and a half and is great so far.  We have a few projects coming up that require us to work with and study children so I am excited!
• Nutrition and Young Children
• This class is going to be so helpful!  
• College Algebra
• I am only taking this class because I took it awhile ago and bombed it... SO, I am fixing my GPA.  I want my rockin' GPA back!  YES!!! 

Roommates: 

         Jamie, Alexia, Katherine, Ashley, and Melissa.  Jamie and I miss our roommies from last semester like crazy but we think that these new ones are pretty great so far.  

Friends:  

• It is so great to have Bryce and Kyle back!!  It was a long 2 years and I was so ready for them to come back to me!  Reunited and back in the Burg together!  Good stuff!
• I am so blessed with all of the friends that I have, near and far.  I have so many people that care about me and sometimes I wonder what I did to be surrounded by such amazing people.  

My Jobs: 

• I work as a cashier at Broulim's in Rexburg when I am out here at school.  I work 1 or 2 days a week for 5 to 8 hours at a time.  I people that I work with are great and I am so blessed to have a job that lets me transfer from Rexburg to Driggs and back when I am at school or offtrack.
• I work as a paper grader and TA for Brother Wray in the Biology department.  I am his head grader and that makes me in charge of grading for his 3 major classes (that is A LOT of papers!).  My friend Stacy is Brother Wray's TA for his other BIO lab and she also helps me grade when she can.  It is so fun to work with both Stacy and Bro Wray.  I have 2 of the best jobs a college student can have!! 

Life is gooooood!!  

Shanna